End of Semester Serenity (and CELEBRATION)

Today I finished my first semester of nursing school.  Let me say that again.  Today I finished my first semester of nursing school.  Man, that sounds good!

Nursing school has been a wild ride.  It has been much more intense, time-consuming, emotional, and confusing than I envisioned, making the end that much more satisfying.  In case you are concerned, yes, I am aware that I am not really "done" with nursing school.  I still have 3 semesters left.  However, today I am putting that aside and celebrating this milestone...and it feels good :)

While this semester has been horrible at times, there have been some great parts too.  I have developed some awesome friendships in the nursing program.  Nothing bonds people together like struggling through a hard time together :).  I have learned SO much about nursing and the human body and mind. And I have studied harder than I knew that I could.

However, I could not have done any of this without the AWESOME help of my family, friends, fellow nursing students, and fiance'.  I am SO very thankful.

Now that this semester is over and I have some free time, I think I am going to finally be able to get to do more of the fun wedding planning stuff that I have had to set aside.  Because our life has been so hectic, most wedding plans have been made because they could not wait any longer, and I am really looking forward to just enjoying some homework- and study-free time on wedding details!  So tonight, as I sit next to Brian on the couch, I have my laptop on my lap open to this...

instead of having a giant textbook and notepad balanced on either leg with a pencil rolling between my fingers.  And let me say, it feels pretty darn good :)

I FINISHED MY FIRST SEMESTER OF NURSING SCHOOL!!!!!!  (I'm pretty sure that makes me a super hero ;) )

'Tis the season to celebrate Christmas...and the end of my first semester...and a chance to do some fun wedding "stuff"

-Rachel

Happiness and Hurt

Whew.  The last couple of weeks have been intense!  Brian and I have been so amazed by how clearly God has been speaking in our lives.

A couple of weekends ago, Brian's family came into town.  We spent a wonderful weekend together celebrating Brian's birthday, graduation with his Master's degree (SO proud of him!), and planning the wedding.  We had a "birthuation" party, checked out the reception and rehearsal dinner venues, ate many delicious meals together, and I even got to show his mom, stepmom, and sister my wedding dress (which we purchased that day!).   It was so great to see all of them!  I wish that we all lived in the same place, it is always sad to say goodbye and our families blend so well together.  SUCH a blessing!

We had another big event about a week and a half ago.  My home church that I have attended since I was a toddler, and the church that we had planned to get married in, split.  I share this not to dwell on something sad or criticize anyone or do anything of that nature, but rather to remember an event that changed our path and impacted our life.  Our hearts are broken- mine in particular.  We have found another place to have the wedding, and I am trying to wrap my mind around re-envisioning the ceremony.  Thankfully, this has not rocked our relationship a single bit.  In fact, it has made us stronger (are you hearing Kelly Clarkson in your head right now?  Me too) Being engaged has never been about planning the perfect wedding, but rather about planning an event to celebrate the beginning of our lives together.  However, that does not mean that I have not been affected, because I am very hurt and deeply saddened by this loss.  For now, Brian and I are attending the church that he went to before we started dating.  We are not sure what our plan is for church from here, but we are praying for God's direction.  

My conclusion after all of this: Put your faith in the marriage, not a wedding and more importantly in God, not a church.  

Brian and I stayed in Joplin for Thanksgiving and enjoyed a day with our family here.  The break from school was GREATLY welcomed by both of us :)  In fact, we did NO schoolwork for 4 days in a row, it was fantastic!  

Other than that, we have been busy with school, my dad's birthday, school, my friend's shower and bachelorette party, school, my parents' anniversary, school, wedding planning (and re-planning ;) ), school, the arrival of our friends' baby, school...and school.  We aren't going to know how to have "normal" dates after all of our study dates!  

I'm loving the thought that in less than six months, I am going to be Rachel Neugebauer!  And as strange as that last name is, I'm thrilled ;)

Sweet Whispers

Whenever you hear the gentle whisper of the Lord, listen and do WHATEVER He says.  Even if it seems silly and inefficient.  I'll explain...

I have had the sweetest experience with Him today.  My heart and mind are full and I can't seem to sit still.  Don't you just crave that feeling of being so in love that you get tingles all through your body and your hands get clammy, your heart starts to beat faster, your eyes get teary, you can't contain your smile and you just lose control?  Before you get confused, no, I am not talking about Brian.  Yes, I love Brian so much more than I knew that a person could love another person...honestly.  Our relationship continues to grow closer and better and "funner" (yes, I am aware that "funner" is not a word) and sweeter and so much more.  But there is no comparison between the love I have for him and that he has for me, and the love that I share with Jesus.  I know, that sounds church-y and unrealistic, but it is special moments like I had today that show me that this is very true.  

I was driving home this afternoon while listening to music on my phone.  When it shuffled to the next song, it was a song that I hadn't heard for a while ("Let the Waters Rise" by MIKESCHAIR).  I began to sing along, and as I did I started to feel that chill that runs all through me that I have learned is often caused by worship music.  Music seriously gets to me.  As the song finished, another song that I hadn't listened to in a while (Worthy is the Lamb by Hillsong LIVE) came on.  

I was getting ready to turn right into my neighborhood, and I felt a whisper saying "Turn left.  Drive and sing your favorites to Me".  I instantly thought to myself 'nope. This is ridiculous' and left my blinker on.  I began to make a mental list of all of the reasons that I should not listen to the whisper.  I have homework to do.  My room needs cleaned.  There is laundry in the washer.  Continuing to drive is a waste of gasoline (which is also a waste of environmental resources AND money).  But the whisper remained heavy on my heart.  So I turned left, and I shook my head at my crazy self.

Once I switched my blinker from right to left, I began to feel the Lord take delight in my obedience at His simple (but silly to my human brain) request.  

Before I continue, please do not misinterpret this.  I am most certainly not the perfect Christ-follower.  I am ashamed to say that I can't count how many times before I have rationalized His whispers away and continued on with my day.  Unfortunately, today was an exception in my walk, not the norm.  Thankfully, the God that I serve is outrageously forgiving.  Really, it is truly outrageous.  

As I continued on the road, I was able to enjoy 25 minutes of pure bliss as I drove through some gorgeous back roads that He has decorated with fiery fall colors .  It was a comical site, if I'm honest.  I went through periods of laughing, crying, raising my hands, patting my heart, singing softly, singing choppy choked-out words and singing so loud that it hurt my own ears.  I cannot even imagine what the other drivers on the road were thinking.  They are probably currently praying for that lunatic that does not belong behind the wheel.  Oh well :)

Even though my 25 minute detour seems small and insignificant, I soaked up every minute of it.  It was 25 minutes that I spent in His presence focusing on Him alone.  It blessed me greatly, and I pray that it blessed Him as well.

There are a few things that make this experience even more special to me.  First of all, ever since Brian and I got engaged, there have been some outside factors and situations that have broken our hearts- mine in particular.  I do not feel comfortable sharing more detail than that, but those 25 minutes mean even more because I have struggled as I have consciously chosen to trust in God's plan through the heartache.  

Also, I believe that this afternoon is a result of my Jesus-loving grandmother's prayers on my behalf.  She texted me this morning (Yes, my grandma TEXTS.  Pretty cool, huh?) and told me that I had been on her mind all day and let me know that she was praying for me.  I responded by telling her that I appreciated her thoughts, but that my day was going very well and she did not need to be concerned.  At the time, I wondered why God had laid me on her heart, but then proceeded to continue on with checking things off of my to-do list.  

Finally, today marks two months since the day that Brian asked me to marry him.  Oh, and in case you were wondering, yes, I still get giddy when I think about spending the rest of my life with him.  Ever since we started dating, I have prayed that God would make it plainly evident as to whether Brian was the person that He wanted me to marry (and that He would do the same for Brian).  Once we decided that we would get married, I have prayed that God would use our relationship to honor Him.  And throughout the course of our relationship, I have found that Brian is one of the ways that God uses to encourage, teach, correct, and bless me.  I believe that God was reminding me of His answer to my prayers.  

Today, I am thankful for sweet whispers.  


¹¹ The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”  Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. ¹² After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. ¹³ When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.

-1 Kings 19:11-13, NIV

²⁷ What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.

-Matthew 10:27, NIV

My view as I drove

Engagement Pictures

On Saturday, Brian and I took our engagement pictures with the wonderful Areke Worku (link to her blog here: http://arekeworkuphotography.blogspot.com/).  We had a great time!  We had originally scheduled our engagement session for October 27, but I became a bit concerned that there wouldn't be enough fall colors left on the trees if we waited until then, so she graciously allowed us to move our appointment up to settle my fears :) Such a sweet friend.  We had a great time, despite getting eaten alive by mosquitos (Yes, they should totally be dead by now.  But they aren't, trust me.).  She already had them edited and posted for us last night!!  Here are some of our favorites:

Don't you love that RING??  I do!!  And the stinkin' handsome boy that gave it to me :)  He is just way too fantastic...I can't wait to be his wife!  

-Rachel

** to see the pictures that Areke took for us while we were dating, check out this link on our wedding website http://www.mywedding.com/brianandrachel2013/photo_669329_21617832.html

No more first dates

Last night, Brian and I had a hot date doing our most favorite thing...studying/doing homework. Tiny bit of sarcasm there ;) Anyhow, as we were staring into laptops while our fingers fluttered all over the keys of our keyboards, I noticed a couple about college age wander into Starbucks. When I realized that I didn't recognize them, I tried to shift my focus back to my reading. However, my easily distracted brain couldn't help but eavesdrop once I realized that if this was not their first date, they had just begun dating because they were terribly awkward with each other. I smiled and began thinking about how awkward my first date with Brian was. In fact, we didn't even like each other on our first date! Thankfully, the friends that set us up lied to both of us saying that the other one asked for a second date, when neither of us did...thanks again for that Sarah!! So anyhow, as I'm reflecting on how strange first dates can be, I realized, neither Brian or I will ever go on a first date again. For those of you that are staring at your screen confused, yes, we are indeed engaged. I had just never thought through it in these terms...no more first dates. No more ice breakers. No more uncomfortable moments when the check comes. No more dorky giggles at dorky jokes because you want him to know you like him (actually, in my case, saying "yes" means agreeing to do that for the rest of my life, ha!). Most importantly, no more putting on a show. When I first made the connection that I would never have another first date, I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Then I looked across the table and saw the incredible man that God has placed in my life that somehow manages to grow handsomer every day, and I nearly laughed out loud. I am SO thrilled that I get to date Brian for the rest of my life!! There isn't another human on this planet that I am more "me" with. I never put on a show with him, because I know that what he loves most is when I am myself. Does it get any sweeter than that?? Seriously, he is the Prince Charming that I didn't think actually existed. Are you nauseous yet? I'm sorry, I just can't help it ;) The man that I have prayed for God to bring into my life has asked me to be his wife, can you blame me?

Oh, and when we left, I glanced back at the new couple. She was giggling dorkily as he grinned from ear to ear. I think they like each other ;)

Enjoying engagement

Being engaged has been such a sweet experience. It is incredible to see how much love you can have for another person...and as each of us grow deeper in love with the other, the other responds in the same way. I know we must be driving everyone around us crazy! It is not uncommon for one of us to suddenly be overcome with giddy excitement for the future God has for us together and to not be able to contain it any longer..actually, it happens several times a day ;)
Wedding planning has been SO very fun, but also a bit more overwhelming than I had originally anticipated. The best way that I have found to deal with the stress- a simple reminder that I get to marry my very best friend. None of the other stuff matters nearly as much as that. Yes, I want to have a beautiful and fun celebration that can kick off the beginning of the next step for Brian and me, but that is not what will make or break my wedding day. If at the end of the day I have the honor of becoming Rachel Neugebauer, then it went exactly the way that I have hoped.

We're getting MARRIED!!!

We are so excited to start this next phase of our lives!!  We have been engaged for all of about 48 hours now, and we are having so much fun starting the wedding planning process of picking out colors, decor, flowers, a dress...well, I (Rachel) am at least!  We are currently looking for the "just right" venue for the reception, finalizing our guest list, gathering ideas, and making to-do lists.  It is so wonderful to see God's plans for our life together begin to unfold.  Here's to the future!